Jun. 2 - I'm feeling a little better about my masculinity today. The story on the back page of yesterday's Urban announced that "Baby-sæsonen er gået ind," or "The Baby Season Has Arrived." The article prominently featured a photo of a pram—not a very nice one—the caption of which included this bit:
Og tro ikke, det kun er mødrene, som går helt bananas over de små. Jeg har det selv de allerblideste mænd forandre sig og sidde indædt og diskutere med hinanden, hvem der havde den bedste barnevogn med de fedeste alu-fælge.The article itself is too long and complex for my limited Danish, as circumscribed by my limited time, but has to do with the fact that it's baby-boom season in Denmark, and from now through the first snowfall the sidewalks, parks, and cafes of Copenhagen will be overrun by men and women shoving prams and strollers and carriages around.
And don't think that it's just mothers that go bananas over the little ones. I myself have seen the gentlest men transform themselves and sit around and argue with one another over who has the best pram with the coolest aluminum rims.
The woman who wrote the Urban article seems to be using this observation as a jumping off point for a lot of innocuous speculation, concluding on a hopeful note about fatherhood turning boys into men.
She wrote that because she's a woman. It's a common misconception among women that boys can be turned into men. We can't. We're born boys, we live as boys, and we die as boys. If ever you think we seem to be acting like men, you can rest assured it's entirely for your benefit—yours or some other woman's. Or girl's.
But when you're not around, trust me. All boys, all the time.
Your Almanac Awaits
On June 2, 1793, the "Rain of Terror" officially began in France. This was one of the worst meteorological events in French history and cost hundreds of thousands of lives.
The Marquis de Sade was born on June 2, 1740, and his sexual proclivities made his name a noun. His sexual proclivities themselves have been preserved in a mason jar at the Louvre.
It's Jerry Mathers's birthday (1948), so take it easy on the Beaver. Other birthday celebrants include Marvin Hamlisch (1944), Johnny Weissmuller (1904), Thomas Hardy (1840), the Marquis de Sade (1740), and King Henry VIII of England (1491).
Happy Hump Day!
© 2004, The Moron's Almanac