DAILY BRIEFING
Sunday in the Park (Again)

June 1 - Sunday was Pinse in Denmark (and Monday was Pinse II). Pinse is a Christian holiday. It may have something to do with the Ascension. I'm not sure.

For the second year in a row we spent most of Pinse Sunday in Frederiksberg Garden at a family picnic. There was the same impressive spread of food, the same singing, the same leisurely boat ride through the garden's canals. But it was also very different from last year.

There were two important differences from my perspective: first, I have by now learned enough Danish that the incoherent family conversations that left me bewildered last year were now vaguely understandable. Second, the imminent arrival of a child has made me a different man.

Sunday was a warm and lovely day. It was warm enough to make sunning oneself an option for only the third or fourth time of this young season, and over the course of our picnic I found myself wishing I could take off my shirt. I still have a large bandage on my back, however, and didn't want a big square tanline between my shoulder blades.

Given the beauty of the weather, it was natural that the park should be filled with eye candy, and it was. I couldn't help but stare at some of the beauties that went by us, and even went so far as to point out some of the most appealing ones to the DMG.

I'm speaking about the prams.

That's right. With young Danish beauties sunning themselves all around us, many of them topless, I spent the afternoon checking out prams. I noticed handling, configurations, and load capacity. I gave tall fathers extra scrutiny to see if they appeared to be comfortable with the height of their prams. I made careful mental notes of accessories like detachable umbrellas and mosquito netting. I began to get a feel for the relative popularity of various models, and was pleased to see that our own favorite was among the most popular.

What strange hormone has been released into my bloodstream?

June Primer

Welcome to June.

June is the sixth month of the year and consists of thirty days. The ancient Romans gave it twenty-nine days until 46 BC, when Julius Caesar added the thirtieth for reasons known only to himself. The last day of the month is therefore referred to as its "Caesarian Section" by calendar insiders.

The month is believed to derive its name from either the Roman goddess Juno, patron goddess of marriage, or the Greek Juniko, god of charcoal briquets.

June marks the transition from spring to summer in the northern hemisphere, and from fall to winter in the southern hemisphere. (It is not a transitional month in other hemispheres.)

June has traditionally been the most popular month for weddings, but it's commonly overlooked that it's also one of the top twelve months for bathtub drownings and spontaneous human combustions.

June is traditionally considered the poet’s month because with the warming of the earth and the lengthening light of the fragrant evenings, thoughts inevitably turn to romance as hearts and passions swell. Also, June rhymes with a lot of words. For example: afternoon, aswoon, attune, baboon, balloon, bassoon, bestrewn, boon, buffoon, cartoon, cocoon, commune, croon, doubloon, dragoon, dune, entune, expugn, festoon, harpoon, hewn, honeymoon, immune, inopportune, impugn, jejune, lagoon, lampoon, loon, macaroon, maroon, monsoon, moon, noon, pantaloon, picayune, platoon, poltroon, pontoon, prune, raccoon, rune, saloon, soon, spittoon, spoon, strewn, swoon, tune, tycoon, typhoon, untune.

Why not write a poem now? Use it to impress that special someone, your colleagues at work, your pals at the bar, even the nurse at the methadone clinic.

Dagens Ord

The Danish word for June is juni, pronounced something like "yew-nee."

Birthdays, Holidays

It's Children's Day in China, Laos, and Mozambique, Self-Rule Day in Kenya, Navy Day in Mexico, and President's Day in Palau.

Today is the birthday of Alanis Morissette (1974), Morgan Freeman (1937), Pat Boone (1934), Andy Griffith (1926), Marilyn Monroe (1926), and Brigham Young (1801).

Happy Tuesday!

© 2004, The Moron's Almanac™

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