DAILY BRIEFING
Homeward Bound

Mar. 30 - Yesterday was my first day of studieskolen.

There are seven other students in my class—eight, if you count the guy who showed up only to apologize for having to run off and catch a plane and miss the next three classes.

Each of us hails from a different country: the other students are from the Philippines, Poland, Italy, Japan, France, England, and one country I didn't catch. Our proficiency in Danish ranges from wretched to miserable, but everyone in the class speaks passable English.

Most of the other students were also lured to Denmark by wily Danish lovers. Only one of us expressed any regrets. That was, inevitably, France, who actually said he didn't like Denmark. Once you have lived in Paris, he explained, there is nowhere else to live. Who but a Frenchman would say such a thing? Has the man never been to New York?

In the course of our four-hour session I learned that Danes have no idea how to pronounce their own language—not only that, but they're utterly untroubled by their ignorance. To pass this course I'm going to have to modify my own pronunciation to accommodate their tin ears. That's going to take some work.

* * *

We don't leave for the states until Thursday, but I've got a lot to get done before then so I'm going to suspend publication of the Almanac until April 15, which should give me time enough to get my bearings after we return. (If you're planning on breaking into the apartment while we're away, I'm sorry to report that one of the DMG's cousins will be staying at our apartment while we're gone and you'll be more likely to walk in on a keg party than an empty apartment. He won't be heavily armed, but you'll never get in the door without coughing up some beer money.)

Remember you can always look here if you find yourself jonesing for birthday or holiday information, and the Almanac Archives are always open for browsing.

Or you can just check in on the blog, which I'll update while we're traveling (but probably not as frequently as I've been updating it lately).

* * *

The Bean is halfway through Week 20 now. I'm glad we'll have her in America for at least a few of these formative pre-natal weeks, especially now that she can hear. This is her first and only chance to hear a lot of her American family until she's out in the world and quite a bit older.

Lucky girl!

(Jokes like that are sometimes necessary to measure the extent to which my family is reading the Almanac.)

Dagens Ord
Today's word is ferie, meaning "vacation." Today's other word is flyvemaskine, meaning "flying machine," which is how Danes refer to passenger jets.

* * *

On March 30, 1853, Vincent Van Gogh was born. Exactly 134 years later to the very day, his painting “Sunflowers” sold for $39.7 million. Van Gogh’s life was full of such eary coincidences.

On March 30, 1870, the U.S. Congress readmitted Texas to the Union. Texas is the only state in the Union whose name is an anagram for taxes. Conclude this paragraph with the Texaphobic slur or Texaphiliac slogan of your choice.

Today is the birthday of Celine Dion (1968), Paul Reiser (1957), Eric Clapton (1945), Warren Beatty (1937), John Astin (1930), Peter Marshall (1930), Frankie Laine (1913), Vincent Van Gogh (1853), and Moses Maimonedes (1135).

It's Spiritual Baptist Liberation Shouter Day in Trinidad and Tobago.

Enjoy my vacation!

© 2004, The Moron's Almanac™

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