Mar. 10 - I've lived in Denmark for just under a year, now. I've tried to drink in as much Danish culture as possible. I've married a Danish woman, begotten a Danish child, and earned official Danish residency. I've cycled through a year's worth of Danish holidays and sustained myself on Danish food. And still I somehow managed to completely miss out on one of the pillars of Danish culture: Lego.

It's not that I haven't thought about Lego. Every time I pass a toy store bedecked with the familiar logo I remind myself that I want to stock up on Lego while I'm out here, and we've been planning (and deferring) a trip to Legoland since the day we arrived. When my family was out for the wedding last summer, in fact, a group trip to Legoland was on the itinerary right up until the moment we decided not to go. (That's our family way: we like to make plans but we're not sticklers about keeping them.)

I won't overstate the importance of Lego to Danish culture. One gets the sense that it's a popular toy, and that Danes are proud of its Danish origin, but that's about it. There aren't any Lego holidays or Lego breweries. There's no Lego Castle, Lego Garden, or Lego Stadium. There's just Legoland—and a lot of toy stores selling Lego.

The other day I noticed some Lego for sale at the kiosk down the street. For 89 crowns (about $13), I could get a big, red, Lego-shaped bucked full of Lego. It was too good a deal to pass up. I've been playing with my new Lego ever since. And I suspect that's the only reason I actually wanted to mention Lego today. I wanted to show you the little house I made:

It ain't much, as they say, but it's paid for.

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This isn't Lego, but if you ever wondered what the Bible would look like if illustrated with Lego, it's probably as close as you'll ever get. It's a brilliant site. I haven't gone through all of it, but the section on Sexual Discharge alone (Old Testament / The Law) is enough to warrant an enthusiastic recommendation. Go there now and watch your Wednesday disappear.

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And remember to check in on the blog.

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...The Mother of Invention

It was on this date in 1876 that Alexander Graham Bell conducted the first successful experiment on a radical new technology.

He put a "transmitter" in one room of his home and a "receiver" in another. He connected them with wire.

He then shouted into the moutpiece of the transmitter, "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you."

A moment later, his assistant, who had been waiting in the room with the receiver, came into Bell's room and said he had heard and understood everything.

The experiment was a success, and just a few days later Bell received the patent for the worlds first Long-Distance Watson Summonsing Device.

The invention didn't enjoy much commercial success because the market for persons with out-of-earshot assistants named Watson was not as large as Bell had hoped, but it did serve as a major stepping-stone to one of Bell's most significant inventions, the Watson Detonator.

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The Moron's Index
Bean Counter: 16 weeks + 5 days
Days as a (Mostly) Non-Smoker: 24
Lego Pieces Swallowed, Lifetime: 3

Dagens Ord (The Word of the Day)
Lege. To play. As in, Vil du lege med min Lego? ("You want to play with my Lego?") This only works for playing with toys. To play in the sense of sports, games of chance, and dramatic roles takes the verb Spille.

Sharon Stone turns 46 today. It's also the birthday of Kim Campbell (1947), Canada's first female prime minister. They share their birthday with Chuck Norris (1940), James Earl Ray (1928), Pamela Mason (1918), and Bix Beiderbecke (1903).

Happy Hump Day!

2004, The Moron's Almanac™

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