DMG: What a beautiful costume!
Superman: (Stops, looks around, fidgets nervously.)
DMG: Show me how strong you are!
Superman: (Continues to eye us suspiciously.)
DMG: Oh, come on, show us your muscles!
Superman: I've been out jingling. I'm cold.
DMG: Yes, you need a hat.
Superman: No, it's my hands.
DMG: Where's your mom?
Superman: She's at home. My hands are cold.
DMG: You better go home to her then.
Superman: Yeah, but my big sister is out jingling, too, with her friends. She's my big sister.
DMG: Maybe you can join her.
Superman: No, because she's out jingling with her friends.
DMG: Oh, then I guess you can't.
Superman: No, my big sister's still out there.
Superman sighs, shrugs, and continues on his way.
And that was that.
* * *
On the same walk we observed some old WWII-era bunkers. The DMG pointed them out to me with a certain pride.
"Well," I remarked indifferently, "fat lot of good they did. I mean, the German army just sort of showed up and said, hello, you're occupied, right?"
"Yeah," she conceded, "but we still got to use the bunkers. We were bombed during the war..."
"Why would the Nazis—"
"...by the British."
"Oh." There was an awkward silence. "No hard feelings?"
The DMG just laughed. "They were trying to save us!"
And of course, it was ludicrous for me to have thought an occupied country would resent an ally trying to bomb their dictatorial oppressors out of power. Civilian casualties are always a horror, but if the freedom of an entire nation is at stake...
Speaking of dictatorial oppressors...
Eighty-five years ago today, Benito Mussolini founded the Fasci del Comattimento ("Evil Fascist Bastards") party in Italy in hopes of improving the nation's irregular train schedules. The Evil Fascist Bastards did eventually succeed in getting the trains to run on time, but their success was short-lived: allied forces entered the country in the 1940s and threw off their timetables for ever.
On February 23, 1821, English poet John Keats died in Rome. Mr. Keats was Romantic and therefore wrote an Ode to a Nightingale, an Ode to Psyche, and even an Ode to a Grecian Urn. None of them would have him, so the poor man died alone.
On February 23, 1836, the siege of the Alamo began. It was quite an adventure. For years afterward people would sigh, "Remember the Alamo?" And they'd kind of nod and smile, but eventually they forgot.
February 23 is the birthday of John Sandford (1944), Peter Fonda (1939), W.E.B. DuBois (1868), and George Frederic Handel (1685).
February 23 is Republic Day in Guyana and Army and Navy Day in Russia.
The Moron's Index
Bean Counter: 14 weeks + 3 days
Days as a Non-Smoker: 8
Fastelavn Extortionists Paid Off, Lifetime: 2
Fastelavn Buns Consumed, Lifetime: 1
Dagens Ord (The Word of the Day)
Rasle. Jingle, jangle, rattle. "Jeg har været ud at rasle." = I've been out jingling.
The other day I said the Danish for arrest was standse. That was inaccurate. Standse means arrest only in the sense of "arrested development" or "cardiac arrest." To arrest in the sense of handcuffs and perp walks, the correct verb is arrestere. I apologize to any readers who embarrassed themselves try to arrest Aaron Burr in Danish over the weekend.
(And remember to keep up with Moron Abroad!)
© 2004, The Moron's Almanac
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