DAILY BRIEFING
Today We Are Five

Jan. 13 - About five years ago today my very first almanac appeared on the Internet. I say "about" because my first almanacs were weekly and I can't be entirely sure what particular day I posted it on.

It doesn't look so hot now. That's partly explained because the archived version is text-only, whereas the original appeared with plenty of hideously diverting graphics and links. But, as I said, that only partly explains it. It's also because I had no idea what the hell I was doing and spent more time trying to learn Microsoft FrontPage and FTP protocols than actually writing. Fortunately, this was at a time when the rest of the Internet also sucked. It took me months just to get comfortable with managing my website, and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I ought to be putting on it. I can only justify my position by saying that I think we're all still trying to figure out how best to take advantage of this medium.

And some ideas are obviously better than others. (Actually, I'm kidding—I love that second site, but you get my point.)

Anyway, you can see how much improvement there was over the course of the Almanac's first year by comparing the piece of crap above with this piece of crap from January 2000. (I especially like "Consumer Infallibility," which I should have reprised in the last weekend edition.) You'll also notice the introduction of Cody Stromberg's artwork into the design of the website. This gave the almanac an element of design stupidity to complement the staggering vacuousness of its content.

Five goddam years.

I'd like to think it added up to something, that there was some point to this colossal waste of time, but then I remember the whole point was not to have a point, and I feel smug enough to forget about it and pour myself a drink.

I'll come up with more Moronic Anniversary stuff as the week goes on, since there's not much going on and I don't have any hairs up my ass this week.

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Attention, conspiracy theorists! You have the last piece of your puzzle: the United States has "accidentally" bombed Britain! Read all about it!

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Today is the birthday of Julia Louis-Dreyfus (1961), Charles Nelson Reilly (1931), Gwen Verdon (1925), Sophie Tucker (1884), and Horatio Alger (1834).

It's Liberation Day in Togo—a holiday as sensible as, say, Bacon Cheeseburger Day in Israel.

Happy Tuesday!

2004, The Moron's Almanac™

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