Are You Ready for Some... Zzzz...

Oct. 21 - The Danish cable station TV2-Zulu offers one NFL football game a week. They show one of the late Sunday games (this week it was Bucs-49ers), and although they give you the live video feed from Fox or CBS, they provide their own commentary in Danish. Since there are no ads on TV2 during the game (except at half-time), there's also an awful lot of studio chat between the two hosts.

Today TV2-Zulu conducted an experiment. For the first time ever, they broadcast a Monday Football Game live. It's the only MNF broadcast they're doing all season, and happily enough it was a Raiders home game against the Chiefs. Hell if I was gonna miss it.

The Raiders-Chief rivalry is the stuff of legend. The Raiders were last year's AFC Champions and the Chiefs are one of the only undefeated teams left in the NFL this season. The Raiders have one of the greatest players ever to have taken the field in Jerry Rice, flanked by eventual hall-of-famer peer Tim Brown; the Chiefs have one of the best active running backs in Priest Holmes and, probably, the best tight end in Tony Gonzalez. How was such a matchup billed in Denmark?

"The Oakland Raiders taken on Morten Andersen and the Kansas City Chiefs."

Who's Morten Andersen? The Chiefs' placekicker. But that's not why he gets top billing in Denmark. He gets top billing because he's a Dane. In fact, he's the only Danish citizen in the entire NFL, which is probably why TV2 chose to show this of all MNF games this season.

The problem with Monday Night Football in Denmark, though, isn't their fixation on placekickers. It's that it's actually Tuesday Morning Football.

I was only half-awake as William Shatner did the spectacularly cheesy MNF lead-in and Aerosmith joined Hank Williams, Jr., to ask the musical question, was I ready for some football?

Well, no. As a matter of fact I wasn't. I was ready for bed. I was ready for some serious rapid eye movement. I was not at all prepared to sit alone in front of the television and watch a game that has no real significance on my life being played in a stadium 7000 miles away from me.

But here I am, and happily so.

It's half-time right now—about 4:45 in the morning. The Raiders are down 10-0. Instead of gnawing at pizza and guzzling beer, I've been sipping coffee and trying to decide what to have for breakfast.

I've had four hours of sleep, I'm a little punchy, and I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow, so I'm not going to be able to come up with anything very clever to say today.

Not that I ever let that stop me before, but today I've got an excuse.

Here comes the second half...

* * *

Thomas Edison invented the incandescent electric lamp on this date in 1879. That invention was the fruit of study, hard work, and years of persistent experimentation, rendering it entirely inappropriate for discussion here.

More worthy of our attention is Alfred Nobel, the founder of the Nobel Prize, born on this date in 1833.

Mr Nobel is interesting because his fortune was founded in large part on the commercial success of something he invented in 1866: dynamite.

Dynamite proved so lucrative for Mr Nobel that he was able to spend most of the rest of his life blowing things up in the interests of world peace. World peace was not achieved in his lifetime, however, so he endowed a foundation with millions of dollars to give prizes to the men and women of future generations who helped bring the world closer to peace by blowing things up.

(First down, Raiders.)

Also born today were Jeremy Miller (1976), Carrie Fisher (1956), Benjamin Netanyahu (1949), Dizzy Gillespie (1917), and Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772).

It's Flag Day in Costa Rica, Army Day in Honduras, Independence Day in the Marshall Islands Anniversary of Coup Day in Somalia, and Trafalgar Day in the UK.

Happy Tuesday!

2003, The Moron's Almanac™

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