DAILY BRIEFING
Jetlag Football

Sep. 4 - The NFL season is underway.

The first game of the season kicks off this evening when the Jets and Redskins face off in the nation's capital at 9pm Eastern.

That's 3am here in Denmark—which doesn't necessarily mean I can't watch the game. I could wake up early and catch most of the second half, or at least the fourth quarter—if I had satellite tv, which I don't. That's why I'm necessarily unable to watch it.

It's going to be a difficult season for me. A Danish cable station covers two NFL games a week: what those of us raised on the east coast refer to as a one o'clock game and a four o'clock game. The broadcasts begin at 7pm and last until the end of the second game, probably about 1am unless it goes into overtime.

Other games can only be seen over satellite tv. I could go to a bar to see the Monday night games, I suppose, if I could find a bar that was open from 3am to 6am. Ditto for Sunday night games. But who wants pizza and beer at four in the morning? (Outside of college campuses, I mean.)

Anyway, it's no big loss missing the Jets-Redskins game. I don't like either team, none of their players are on my fantasy roster, and watching the overhyped drama of the Jets secondary trying to cover their own team's star receiver from 2002 isn't enough to make me want to prowl the streets of Copenhagen looking for a 24-hour sports bar.

So the NFL kicks off for the DMB and I on Sunday, as it probably will for most Americans outside of metropolitan New York and Washington. (Is it strange that the game is being played exactly one week before the second anniversary of 9/11 between the two cities hit on that terrible day?) We've decided to make it a holiday of our own—"America Day" or something. We're going to try to make the whole day a celebration of American food, American beer, American football, and American contempt for the refs.

I don't know what games they'll be broadcasting, but apparently the show is going to feature a lot of Morten Andersen, the legendary 43-year-old placekicker who happens to be the only Danish citizen in the NFL, currently playing for the Kansas City Chiefs. (That's how a lot of Danish television tends to generate interest in things outside Denmark: "Look! A Dane!") I don't know if they've got prerecorded segments of Andersen or if he'll be doing live bits from the sidelines of his own game against San Diego or what. I don't care.

From now until January I get to mainline six hours of American culture a week.

So yes, I'm ready for some football.

(So stop asking.)

The Usual Nonsense

On September 4, 1781, the Spanish named a tiny little village near the Pacific coast Los Angeles de los Huevos Rancheros Cerveza Fria de los Pollo Loco, which is better known to us today by its anglicized and abbreviated name: Pasadena.

Today is the birthday of Mike Piazza (1968), Mitzi Gaynor (1930), Paul Harvey (1918), Henry Ford II (1917), and Richard Wright (1908).

It's St. Marinus Day in San Marino.

Happy NFL Kickoff Thursday!

2003, The Moron's Almanac™

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