The Moron's Daily Briefing

Mar. 24 - I'm going to be offline until at least April 1 and possibly longer, depending on the speed with which I can get high-speed Internet access installed in Denmark and how quickly I learn to metabolize Aqvavit and herring.

In order to minimize the possibility of inconvenience to my readers, I am therefore providing the usual worthless briefing data for the rest of March before my Internet access here in the states is severed.

I don't have time to put out the usual blather about historical anniversaries or current events during this period, but it seems superfluous anyway. You want history, turn on your television. If you don't have a television, turn on your radio. If you don't have a television or a radio, pick up a newspaper. If you can't afford a newspaper, do like they do in the movies: wait until someone else buys one from a street dispenser, then run up and catch the swinging door of the dispenser before it snaps back shut. (But if you can't afford a newspaper, how the hell can you afford Internet access?)

Anyway, I'll be back in early April one way or another.

Enjoy the rest of the month.


March 24 Steve McQueen (1930), Norman Fell (1924), Lawrence Ferlinghetti (1919), Joseph Barbera (1911), Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle (1887), and Harry Houdini (1874).

March 25 Sheryl Swoopes (1971), Sarah Jessica Parker (1965), Elton John (1947), Aretha Franklin (1942), Anita Bryant (1940), Gloria Steinem (1934), Flannery O'Connor (1925), Howard Cosell (1920), David Lean (1908), Bela Bartok (1881), Arturo Toscanini (1867), and Anne Brontë (1820).

March 26 Marcus Allen (1960), Curtis Sliwa (1954), Martin Short (1950), Vicki Lawrence (1949), Steven Tyler (1948), Diana Ross (1944), Bob Woodward (1943), Erica Jong (1942), James Caan (1939), Alan Arkin (1934), Leonard Nimoy (1931), Sandra Day O'Connor (1930), Tennessee Williams (1911), and Robert Frost (1874).

March 27 Mariah Carey (1970), Quentin Tarantino (1963), Michael York (1942), Sarah Vaughan (1924), and Gloria Swanson (1899).

March 28 Reba McEntire (1955), Dianne Wiest (1948), Ken Howard (1944), Dirk Bogarde (1921), and Anheuser Busch, Jr. (1899).

March 29 Jennifer Capriati (1976), Lucy Lawless (1968), Elle Macpherson (1964), John Major (1943), Eric Idle (1943), Pearl Bailey (1918), Sam Walton (1918), and Cy Young (1867).

March 30 Celine Dion (1968), Paul Reiser (1957), Eric Clapton (1945), Warren Beatty (1937), John Astin (1930), Peter Marshall (1930), Frankie Laine (1913), Vincent Van Gogh (1853), and Moses Maimonedes (1135).

March 31 Ewan McGregor (1971), Al Gore (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), Gabe Kaplan (1945), Christopher Walken (1943), Herb Alpert (1935), Richard Chamberlain (1935), Shirley Jones (1934), Gordie Howe (1928), César Chávez (1927), Leo Buscaglia (1925), Henry Morgan (1915), Octavio Paz (1914), Joseph Haydn (1732), and Rene Descartes (1596).


March 25 is Independence Day in Greece.

March 26 is Independence Day in Bangladesh.

March 27 is Resistance Day in Burma.

March 28 is Queen Ingrid's Birthday in Denmark--the very day I'll be arriving. (I'll bring a gift.)

March 29 is Commemoration Day in Madagascar, Youth Day in Taiwan, and Icaka New Year in Indonesia (unless that's a Lunar holiday, in which case it's probably some other day around this time).

March 30 is Spiritual Baptist Liberation Shouter Day in Trinidad and Tobago.

March 31 is Independence Day in Georgia and Freedom Day in Malta.

© 2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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