The Moron's Daily Briefing

Mar. 20 - It's the first day of spring and the first day of war, and it's been nearly a week since the last daily briefing. Curious readers may like to know why. (Not why it's spring, nor why we're at war, but why I've been away.)

The fact is, I'm moving from New York to Copenhagen next week and anyone who's ever tried to cram their life into a finite number of cardboard boxes for a 5000-mile transfer to a country where they don't even speak American will probably understand that I'm a little pressed for time.

The fact that local and out-of-town friends descended on Astoria over the weekend to pour liquor down my throat may have exacerbated this condition.

I may have to change The Moron's Almanac to The Expatriate Moron's Almanac. I'm not sure where international law comes down on this question. But don't worry: the Almanac will not lose its American flavour, its quintessentially American je ne sais quois.

I'll probably have to make certain other editorial changes to accommodate the wartime environment. For example, I obviously need a cool new "At War" logo, lots of screaming headlines, and grainy photographs of bulky objects moving through sandstorms--to say nothing of greenish infrared photographs of unfamiliar skylines in silhouette. These changes will be introduced gradually, if at all.

I may even fire up WarNewz again. I don't know. Please keep checking in, however, because my advertising revenue depends on a certain number of pageviews each day. (I have no advertisers. I just need the attention.)

That much said, I've wasted all the time available for today's daily briefing, so here's the quick and dirty:

On March 20, 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte entered Paris and began his famous "Reign of One Hundred Days." (These were apparently Metric days, since the reign only lasted 94 American days.)

The Vernal Equinox occurs at 8:00 pm today. That's the scientifically-correct way to say it's finally fucking spring. Take off your clothes.

The Vernal Equinox is celebrated by Pagans as the holiday Ostara. It's also Independence Day in Tunisia.

Holly Hunter turns 45 today. She shares her birthday with Spike Lee (1957), William Hurt (1950), Pat Riley (1945), Hal Linden (1931), the late, great Fred Rogers (1928), Carl Reiner (1922), Ozzie Nelson (1906), and B.F. Skinner (1904).

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

[close window]
[Daily Briefing Archive]