WEEKEND BRIEFING
The Moron's Weekend Briefing

Feb. 7 - Almost exactly thirty-nine years ago today a cheery quartet of moptops arrived in the United States, where they helped bring about a social revolution whose effects can be felt to this day.

The Beatles came a few days later, on February 7, 1964.

The Beatles came from Britain, sometimes known as England, a little island in the North Atlantic from which many people have come to the United States over the years, some of them without guitars.

The British (or English), like so many other Europeans, have a long and storied history. Although it took the French to perfect the guillotine, the English (or British) made up for in zeal what they lacked in technological savvy, and next week is the anniversary of three British (or English) queens having their heads hewn from their shoulders. Specifically:

On February 8, 1587, after nineteen years in prison, Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded.

On February 12, 1554, Lady Jane Grey, Queen for nine days in 1553, was beheaded.

On February 13, 1542, Catherine Howard, Henry VIII's Vth wife, was beheaded.

If you can get to an English (or British) pub next week, order a beer with extra head and see if they get the joke. Be prudent, however, as people will sometimes react in unexpected ways when asked for any kind of head at all.)

On February 7, 1898, the trial of Emile Zola began in Paris. He lost, but then eventually he won. He accused someone of something. Or vice-versa. Long story. It all began in the backwoods of Illinois... no, that was Lincoln. Never mind.

On February 8, 1725, Peter the Great died. On February 7, 1990, the Soviet Communist Party gave up its monopoly on power. On February 9, 1991, Lithuanians voted their independence from Russia, the USSR, or whatever the hell it was to their east.

On February 8, 1861, the southern states which had seceded from the United States agreed to reunite in The Confederate States of America. This caused the Civil War, a period of unprecedented bloodshed in American history, which surely could have been avoided through a rigorous U.N. regimen of plantation inspections.

Chris Rock turns 37 on February 7, and Garth Brooks turns 41. They share their birthday with Sinclair Lewis (1885), Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867), and Charles Dickens (1812).

February 8 is the birthday of Gary Coleman (1968), Ted Koppel (1940), Nick Nolte (1940), John Williams (1932), James Dean (1931), Jack Lemmon (1925), Audrey Meadows (1924), Lana Turner (1921), Jules Verne (1828), and Willam Tecumseh Sherman (1820).

February 9 is the birthday of Mia Farrow (1945), Joe Pesci (1943), Carole King (1942), Roger Mudd (1928), Gypsy Rose Lee (1914), and Carmen Miranda (1909), and William Henry Harrison (1773).

February 7 is Independence Day in Grenada and February 8 is Culture Day in Slovenia. Slovenia's cultural contributions to the world include Cipka Lace, Green George, Lipica Horses, Krofi, and Potica.

None of them are beers.

Enjoy the weekend!

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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