The Moron's Weekend Briefing

Dec. 13 - Today is Friday the 13th.

Fridays that fall on the 13th day of the month are traditionally believed to be propitious to calamity (i.e., bad).

Many scholars trace the source of this superstition to biblical times, but "Friday" and "Thirteenth" are English, not Hebrew or Greek. The Old and New Testament are both full of pagan superstitions that humanity has had the good sense to discard in its rush to make room for ever new, ever more modern superstitions.

It is therefore obviously an English superstition, and as an American almanac we'll have nothing to do with it.

If you want to be afraid of a day, be afraid of Monday the 43rd. If you ever wake up and it's Monday the 43rd, worry.

But you only get so many Fridays a month. Use them fearlessly.

* * *

December 13 is the Hindu Holiday of Guru Tag Bahadur's Martyrdom. It's also Republic Day in Malta amd Constitution Day in Russia--although this is one of those floating holidays, so maybe it's not until Monday. Or maybe it was last Monday. Who knows?

December 14 is National Day in St. Lucia.

December 15 is Netherlands Statue Day in the Netherlands (go figure), Constitution Day in Nepal, and Kingdom Day in Dutch St. Martin.

Dick Van Dyke turns 77 on December 13. Fellow celebrants include Christie Clark (1973), Ted Nugent (1948), John Davidson (1941), Christopher Plummer (1927), Archie Moore (1913), Mary Todd Lincoln (1818), and Heinrich Heine (1797).

Tying into a theme, Morey Amsterdam would have been 88 on December 14. He shared his birthday with Patty Duke (1946), Lee Remick (1935), Charlie Rich (1932), Shirley Jackson (1919), Spike Jones (1911), and Nostradamus (1503).

Sadly, Rose Marie wasn't born on December 15, but Tim Conway was (in 1933). He shares his birthday with Don Johnson (1949), Dave Clark (1942), J. Paul Getty (1892), Alexandre-Gustave Eiffel (1832), and Nero Claudius Caesar (37).

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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