The Moron's Weekend Briefing

Nov. 8 - On November 8, 1923, a general assembly of the Bavarian government began a meeting at a Munich beer hall at approximately 8:00 pm. At about 8:45 pm, the meeting was disrupted by a man in "a baggy, black suit that made him look like a waiter." The man leaped onto a table, fired a couple of shots into the ceiling, then forced his way onto the platform.

"The national revolution has begun!" he shouted.

Having gained everyone's attention, the strange little man announced that six hundred of his own men had the beer hall surrounded (they didn't), that the national and Bavarian governments had been taken (they hadn't), that the military and police barracks had been occupied (they weren't), and that he'd like a word or two in private with the three Bavarian leaders on the platform if it wouldn't be too inconvenient (it wasn't).

Once in a private room, the stranger informed the trio that he'd welcome their participation in his new government. They expressed no interest. He waved his revolver in their faces, but still they demurred. He held the pistol to his own head, then realized this wasn't very persuasive and simply returned to the general hall to announce that the leaders were behind him.

A little later, a prominent Bavarian general arrived and announced his support for the stranger. At this point the three leaders were released from their private room, and they too were suddenly in support of the little stranger. Feeling pretty swell about all this support, the stranger left the beer hall briefly to quell a dispute among some of his men outside the hall.

By the time he returned, he found that the three leaders had left the beer hall and were hastily making the rounds in Munich, retracting what they'd been forced to say. The stranger became apoplectic. He and the Bavarian general then came up with a contingency plan: they would gather some men and storm the government the following morning, November 9.

And so they did. Eighteen of their followers and four Bavarian policemen were killed in the conflict. Two days later, the stranger was arrested at the home of a friend, where he'd been hiding. Ten years later, the evil wingnut bastard was elected Chancellor of Germany.

* * *

On November 10, 1871, New York Newspaperman Henry M. Stanley finally found Scottish explorer Dr. Livingstone at Ujiji (helpfully identified by some sources as being "near Unyanyembe"), and remarked, "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" This was extremely witty and therefore historical.

November 8 birthdays include Parker Posey (1968), Mary Hart (1951), Bonnie Raitt (1949), Morley Safer (1931), Patti Page (1927), Esther Rolle (1920), and Margaret Mitchell (1900).

November 9 birthdays: Sisqo (1978), Nick Lachey (1973), Lou Ferrigno (1951), Tom Fogerty (1941), Mary Travers (1936), Carl Sagan (1934), Spiro Agnew (1918), Hedy Lamarr (1913).

November 10 birthdays: MacKenzie Phillips (1959), Sinbad (1956), Donna Fargo (1949), Roy Scheider (1935), Richard Burton (1925), Claude Rains (1889), Martin Luther (1483).

November 9 is Thanksgiving Day in Liberia (some years), Independence Day in Cambodia, and Flag Day in Dominica.

November 10 is Flag Day in Guinea and Death of Ataturk Day in Turkey.

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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