The Moron's Daily Briefing

Oct. 21 - There was no Weekend Almanac for Friday, October 18, through Sunday, October 20. Neither was there an Almanac for October 8. Perplexed readers are reminded that there is sometimes no Almanac, just as there sometimes is an Almanac. This prevents Almanac readers from becoming "regular," a condition better achieved through healthy living, aromatherapy, or pharmaceuticals.

For what it's worth, there was also very nearly no Almanac today. Thomas Edison invented the incandescent electric lamp on this date in 1879, but that invention was the fruit of study, hard work, and years of persistent experimentation, rendering it almost completely inappropriate for discussion here.

More worthy of our attention is Alfred Nobel, the founder of the Nobel Prize, born on this date in 1833.

Mr Nobel is interesting because his fortune was founded in large part on the commercial success of something he invented in 1866: dynamite. Dynamite proved so lucrative for Mr Nobel that he was able to spend most of the rest of his life blowing things up in the interests of world peace. World peace was not achieved in his lifetime, however, and he therefore endowed a foundation with millions of dollars to give prizes to the men and women of future generations who helped bring the world closer to peace by blowing things up.

Sadly, in recent years the foundation appears to have forgotten its roots and has begun awarding prizes to men and women whose work for peace has resulted in things blowing up.

The Moron's Almanac hopes the Nobel Committee, the members of which surely subscribe to the Norwegian-language edition of the Almanac, will take immediate corrective action, lest they continue to mislead people into thinking that Peace can be achieved by anything other than the blowing up of Evil Bastards.

Also born today were Jeremy Miller (1976), Carrie Fisher (1956), Benjamin Netanyahu (1949), Dizzy Gillespie (1917), and Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772).

It's Flag Day in Costa Rica, Army Day in Honduras, Independence Day in the Marshall Islands Anniversary of Coup Day in Somalia, and Trafalgar Day in the UK.

Bottoms up.

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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