WEEKEND BRIEFING
The Moron's Weekend Briefing

Sep. 27 - British history began on September 28, 1066, with the Norman invasion of England. The Normans were a group of Frenchmen who objected to being called Frank and changed their names to Norman. This resulted in cancellation of their French citizenship, so they joined together and invaded England under the leadership of William the Conqueror (or, in Norman, "Norman").

Prior to this invasion, Britain had been occupied mostly by Angles, Saxons, and large stones, who had never properly appreciated cricket, warm beer, or croquet, and had therefore been unable to invent England. William (Norman) the Conqueror realized that, if it was ever going to amount to anything, what England really needed was a Great King, preferably someone very much like himself.

Appropriate arrangements were made.

On September 27, 1964, the Warren Commission issued its final report, concluding that president Kennedy had been assassinated and was probably dead.

On September 29, 1399, Richard II was deposed, which only served him right for having posed in the first place. He was succeeded by Henry IV part I.

On September 29, 1513, Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa (no relation) discovered the Pacific Ocean. How something that covers roughly a third of the earth's surface could have been lost for so long is a question that stumps historians to this day.

The 27th is the birthday of Gwyneth Paltrow (1972), Shaun Cassidy (1958), Mike Schmidt (1949), Meat Loaf (1947), Wilford Brimley (1934), Greg Morris (1934), Jayne Meadows (1926), Arthur Penn (1922), and William Conrad (1920).

The 28th is the birthday of Mira Sorvino (1967), Moon Unit Zappa (1967), Janeane Garofalo (1964), Brigitte Bardot (1934), Arnold Stang (1925), Marcello Mastroianni (1924), Al Capp (1909), and Ed Sullivan (1902).

The 29th is the birthday of Lech Walesa (1943), Madeline Kahn (1942), Jerry Lee Lewis (1935), Gene Autry (1907), Enrico Fermi (1901), and Miguel de Cervantes (1547).

September 27 is not a significant holiday that I'm aware of. September 28, however, is Teachers Day in Taiwan and Flag Day in Thailand. September 29 is Battle of Boqueron Day in Paraguay.

(If you have to ask about Battle of Boqueron Day, you can't afford it.)

Enjoy the weekend.

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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