The Moron's Daily Briefing

Sep. 18 - It's Independence Day in Chile.

Jimi Hendrix died thirty-two years ago today, in London. He was 27 years old.

It was on this date in 1793 that President George Washington laid the foundation stone for the U.S. Capitol. According to numerous sources, President Washington "laid the stone in a Masonic ceremony... preceded by a parade and followed by celebration and feasting."

The Moron's Almanac is troubled by such deviant sexual behavior on the part of our founding father, and by our young nation's apparent celebration of his peculiar penchant for rocks.

The Moron's Almanac endorses a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting federal representatives from engaging in sexual relations with stone.

The 1792 competition for the design of the Capitol had been won by an amateur architect, and the building was therefore burned by the British before it could be completed. Congress had moved into the building on November 22, 1800, but managed to escape the fire.

It was also on this date in 1830 that the first locomotive ever built in the U.S., the "Tom Thumb," lost a nine-mile race to a horse.

Today is the birthday of Frankie Avalon (1939), Jack Warden (1920), Greta Garbo (1905), and Samuel Johnson (1709).

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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