DAILY BRIEFING
The Moron's Daily Briefing

Sep. 17 - On July 4, 1776, the American colonies told Britain to kiss their hairy American asses. This began the Revolutionary War, during which the Redcoats were coming, a shot was heard 'round the world, and Paul Revere could see the whites of their eyes.

The complexities of war demanded organization between the states, so they established Articles of Confederation, which in turn created a Continental Congress. This Congress was adequate to see them through the war, but by the late 1780s it became clear that both the Continental Congress and the Articles of Confederation sucked.

Even way back then Americans didn't want anything to do with anything that sucked (unless it meant a substantial discount, which in this case it did not).

The Continental Congress tried to fix the Articles of Confederation in 1786. The Congress still sucked, of course, and so they failed.

In the spring of 1787 the states sent new delegates to a new convention designed to produce a government that wouldn't be so awful.

On September 17, 1787, the Constitutional Convention voted its approval of a new Constitution, which they immediately ran out to have printed.

The Continental Congress acted with its usual efficiency, and by July 2 of the following year, the Constitution had become the law of the land. The last act of the Continental Congress was to schedule federal elections for their replacements.

Today is Constitution Day in the U.S. Celebrate by refusing to allow soldiers to be billeted in your home.

It's also the 372nd anniversary of the founding of Boston, but since that's not divisible by 5 it can't possibly be significant.

Today is the birthday of Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson (1951), John Ritter (1948), Ken Kesey (1935), Anne Bancroft (1931), Roddy McDowall (1928), Hank Williams, Sr. (1923), and William Carlos Williams (1883).

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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