The Moron's Daily Briefing

Jul. 25 - On this day in 1943, Benito Mussolini resigned as Head Evil Bastard of Italy. He did not receive a gold watch and his 401(K) was in tatters. He was therefore machine-gunned to death, suspended upside down, and urinated on by the people of Italy as a civic reminder of the importance of retirement planning.

On this day in 1689, King Louis XIV of France declared war on Britain for having joined the League of Augsburg and the Netherlands in order to oppose the French invasion of the Rhenish Palatinate. This caused the Battle of Schenecteday in New York.

British statesman Arthur James Lord Ballfour was born on this date in 1848. In 1917, as Foreign Secretary of the British Government, Lord Ballfour declared that "His Majesty's Government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in any other country." This came to be known as the Ballfour Declaration, acknowledged by scholars throughout the world as the beginning of the Middle East Peace Process.

Besides Lord Ballfour, today is also the birthday of Katherine Kelly Lang, Barbara Harris, Jay Ferguson, Estelle Getty, Brad Renfro, and Adnan Khahoggi.

It's Flag Day in Argentina, Constitution Day in Fiji, St. James' Day in Spain, and Republic Day in Tunisia.

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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