The Moron's Daily Briefing

Jul. 1 - Canada celebrates Canada Day (Canadian for "Fourth of July") today. Canada is the second-largest nation in the world. It is not part of the United States.

In the 134 years of their nationhood, Canadians have given the world paint rollers, snowmobiles, electric organs, green ink, toboggans, snow blowers, plexiglass, and the push-up bra.

Canada has about the same population as California, but fewer Scientologists.

A 7-Eleven in Winnipeg sells more slurpees per capita than any other store in the world.

Today is the 22nd anniversary of the Canadian national anthem, 'Like America, But Colder.'

Canada's leading export to the United States is Canadians. Dan Aykroyd, who happens to have been born exactly fifty years ago today, is one. Pamela Anderson is another, and was also born today, although she's younger (most of her is 35, but some parts are significantly younger). Other Canadian exports: Bryan Adams, Paul Anka, Alexandel Graham Bell, Raymond Burr, John Candy, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, John Kenneth Galbraith, Peter Jennings, kd lang, Marshall McLuhan, Joni Mitchell, Alice Munro, Oscar Peterson, William Shatner, Alex Trebek, Shania Twain, and Neil Young.

Canada's national bird is the beaver.

Today is also Independence Day in Burundi, Rwanda, and Somalia, to say nothing of Republic Day in Ghana and Freedom Day in Suriname. We continue to await the arrival of the Surinamese Dan Akroyd or the Ghanan Pamela Anderson.

July is Accordion Awareness Month.

Sharing their birthdays with Mr. Akroyd are Pamela Anderson (1967), Princess Diana (1961), Deborah Harry (1945), Karen Black (1942), Twyla Tharp (1941), Jean Marsh (1934), Leslie Caron (1931), and Olivia DeHavilland (1916).

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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