DAILY BRIEFING
Freedom from Poisonous Snakes

Jun. 27 - By now you're probably aware that yesterday the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals issued a ruling that the Pledge of Allegiance is Unconsitutional. The court's 2-1 decision ruled that the pledge violated the First Amendment.

Here is the complete text of the First Amendment: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peacably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

The plaintiff in the case had argued, with surprising success, that his daughter was injured by being forced to listen to public school teachers lead their classes in a daily recitation asserting the existence of a God. ("One nation, under God, indivisible, et cetera...")

I'm not an especially religious moron. I'm not smart enough to grasp the finer points of who's running the universe and to what ends, so I tend to focus on getting fed and avoiding poisonous snakes.

So I'm going to have breakfast now.

I think the judges of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals could benefit from my example. I think Congress could benefit from my example. I think everyone, everywhere, wasting taxpayer money or shedding blood over questions to which we're just not bright enough to have the answers, could benefit from my example.

Eat well, exercise, and avoid poisonous snakes. Let people talk about God or not talk about God. As long as they're not shoving a particular religion down your throat and you're free from the threat of poisonous snakes, you have nothing to fear.

Except meteorites. Avoid meteorites.

Born today: Julia Duffy (1951), H. Ross Perot (1930), Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan (1927), Helen Keller (1880).

It's Independence Day in Djibouti.

2002, The Moron's Almanac™

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